Ever have those days when you're bone weary? When your eyes just keep drifting closed and your head throbs from the effort of staying awake less than an hour after you've gotten up?
Ever had those days when you can't properly string two words together and the effort of carrying out a conversation leaves you weak? When you can't think straight and say dumb things and you just don't care?
Those days when you're just so tired and disjointed and out of focus that your mood soars up and down based on the tiniest, stupidest things?
Those days when all you can do is wonder how you're going to get through the next hour, let alone the entire day?
These past few days have all been one of those days, for me.
And I'm sitting here, having only been awake two hours and am already thinking that going to bed really, really early sounds like a very, very good idea.
And I'm looking out the window and the sky is cold and grey and the room looks like the light is washing it out, though maybe that is just my eyes.
And I'm wondering, asking, questioning - just where am I supposed to get the energy from to walk through this day? To process the information I'm receiving and string words together in English, let alone French?
The only thought I can think is a simple word. One single word. "Lean."
"Lean."
Lean on what? On who?
On God.
And I've just realized that I've left my Bible at home so it's not available for me to read and absorb. But it doesn't matter.
Because God is not restricted to the Bible and He is still here with me, still available for me to lean on.
And leaning just means relaxing into God and letting Him do the work of holding me up.
Which is good... because I'm struggling to just hold my head up.
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