Yeah, I figured I'd plunge straight in with the title.
It could have been "A Message from Acts to my Heart", but the reading of it was so blunt and so sudden that the title of this post had to be as well.
So, yeah, I was finishing off with Acts last night, something like 10 chapters in one hit.
It was gripping stuff. Really gripping stuff.
I'm not being sarcastic.
And it was in chapter 18 that the surprise came, that very out of place verse that had me exclaiming to my sister.
Just to give you some context:
Paul is in Corinth and everything is going well. He's been preaching the word, and, sure, the Jews haven't been overly receptive, but the gentiles have been. Verses 7 and 8, people are being believing the good news and being baptized.
Then, all of a sudden, out of no where, verses 9 and 10:
"One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision and told him, 'don't be afraid! Speak out! Don't be silent! For I am with you, and no one will attack and harm you, for many people in this city belong to me.' "
The next verse tells us that he spent the next year and a half working there.
Surprised, I read it again.
Then out loud, to my sister.
Why had God felt the need to tell Paul not to be afraid? Why had He thought it necessary to encourage Paul to keep doing what Paul obviously loves to do?
The only answer that seemed to make sense both surprised me and made Paul more... human.
Because the only reason I could think of for God saying this to Paul is that Paul sometimes got scared. That Paul sometimes got discouraged. That Paul sometimes needed reminding about why he was doing what he was doing.
And there is something very comforting about realizing that.
Paul has always loomed in my mind as the "great evangelist", able to face riots and stoning and rejection and ship wrecks and all the rest of it without ever once flinching, without being afraid or uncertain.
So often I have heard, and have thought, that refrain "I could never be like Paul."
I could never tell strangers about God.
I could never speak the Gospel even with the threat of torture hanging over my head.
I could never do the things Paul did because he's Paul and he's larger than life.
And sure, there are certain things Paul did that I will never be able to do. For instance, I am 100% certain that none of my writings will ever be included as Scriptures and passed down through the centuries, dissected and treasured by many. But... did Paul actually know he was writing Scripture when he penned (or dictated) all his epistles? I doubt it. Somehow, I think he was only thinking to encourage, rebuke, correct and guide fellow believers. And there is no reason why I can't do that.
But the rest of it... there is no reason why I can't do the things Paul did.
Because if there is one thing this verse reveals to me it is that Paul didn't do any of the incredible things he did on his own strength. And I guess I've known that, just not realized.
He did it all on God's strength. He did it because many of the people he met belonged to God and needed him to tell them. He did it because God was with him. He did it because of God.
And I suddenly feel like less of a failure, and Paul suddenly seems more life sized, and part of me begins to see that actually... actually I can be as bold and as selfless as Paul.
Because Paul was sustained and lifted up and motivated by someone bigger and more powerful that himself. He was carried by God.
And that same God carries me.
So how dare I whine that I'm not Paul and act as though that's a good enough reason to stay quiet?
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