It has been some time now since I have sat down with pen and paper (or keyboard and screen, as is currently the case) to put in words the finer, deeper emotions and thoughts of the past year. Every time I have tried, be it personal reflections in my journal, letters to beloved friends or post to be shared with the world, I have found myself staring at blank pages - or pages full of words that are all wrong, wrong, WRONG! I have found, for the first time in life, that the written word has failed me utterly.
But the truth is, how do you put into words the love, the gratitude, the delight, the heartache, the - the - oh! I don't have the words for it! Perhaps it is best expressed as the fellowship that I have experienced this past year. Yes, I think that might be it.
I have grown up some this past year. I am still growing, I know it well! But I have grown up some, this year. And I think, perhaps, it is because of just that fellowship (for lack of a better word) that is so hard for me to put into words.
I know that I have loved more deeply, more freely, more openly, than I have ever loved before. And have felt myself to be deeply loved in return. Oh, I'm doing this so, so badly!
To that girl from Austria; those newly-weds I wrote to over a year ago and have since been brother and sister to me; to those sisters I prayed with, laughed with, cried with every week at college; to those men who are brothers; to all those who have mentored me, prayed for me, led me closer to God through your example; to those at church, at beach mission, from school, and - of course - from college:
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thank you for being men and women of God. Thank you for pursuing Him with all your hearts. Thank you for hearing that part of me I have been too ashamed to show the world and accepting me with open arms still. Thank you for sharing your heartaches, your wounds, your scars, your tears. Thank you for sharing your joys, your triumphs, your laughter. Thank you for being open, honest and safe. Thank you for being people who are willing to let God work through you.
I thank God for each and every one of you, for I really, truly have none like you. Each turning page of my life has brought greater joys (and, sometimes, greater sorrows), than the preceding year. Because of you, last year was the sweetest page of my story so far. And because of you, I look to the coming pages with optimism and complete confidence in all the Lord has in store for me.
I know that many of you had a page (or even a chapter) stained with tears this last year. I know that others of you have chapters ringing with laughter. Happy or sad, I know all you - all of us - had pages written perfectly by the hand of the Master Author. And I know that - whilst we may wish things written differently know - each line serves to forward to story of our lives as God's children and ambassadors in this world. I encourage you, my beloved friends, to trust in God's goodness, grace and justice. Trust that our stories, our pages of pain, and our pages of comfort, all have a place in the great Narrative of the universe.
I wish... I really, really wish, that I could put into words just what you mean to me. Just how encouraged I have been by each and every one of you, and just how much I hope to be - or to have been - as much of an encouragement to you. Perhaps a better master of writing than me - or perhaps just one more diligent about practicing the art of writing - could do it, but I can not.
And so you'll just have to trust that you have shaped me and influenced me in my life. You'll have to accept those small things I have been able to do, and will do as often as I can, as proof of a deeper love and gratitude than I am capable of expressing. And I hope that, come Judgment day, when all is made plain before mankind, that you will understand then and give glory to our Father for it.
May God bless you and keep you. May He guide you through life. May His grace be the anthem of your days and His justice your comfort. May His love uphold you and His light brighten the darkest of days. May His mission inspire you and His Spirit embolden you. May you lay down your lives in thankful unceasing worship of Him every day that you draw breath. And may His Death on the Cross, His Resurrection from the Gave and His Ascension into Heaven give you strength, comfort and hope when all else seems lost.
With all my love, prayers and hopes to catch up soon,
Laura
Showing posts with label Gifts of Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gifts of Grace. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Friday, 13 December 2013
Thanksgiving #13 - The Simple and Unexpected
We were strolling down the main path of Hyde Park, chatting about the trees and bagpipes, when she exclaimed "I love this guy!"
Startled, I looked around, not sure whom she was talking about. Then I saw him too.
He stood on the path holding a loop of string attached to two sticks. He dipped the string in a bucket and pulled it up. Moving with ease and confidence, he stretched open the string, using the sticks. The wind caught the liquid suspended in the loop and blew it out. It formed a bubble, a translucent sheet of dancing colour.
He moved to place this broad billowing sheet over the head of a young boy who whimpered and pressed closer to the woman beside him. She and the man chuckled and the man re-dipped the string in the bucket.
Again, a billowing tunnel of colour formed in the air. He took it over to a young girl who stuck her head into it, giggling the way only a child can. Her siblings, who stood beside her, giggled too.
Then the man grasped who looked almost like a solid plastic net out of a shallow bowl and twirled it through the air.
Hundreds of paper thin spheres of colour came bursting out. Caught by the wind, they danced along merrily as a little boy laughed and chased them, hands outstretched to catch them.
Soon, we moved away, having laughed and been delighted. I murmured to my friend, feeling a deep contentment, "that'll be appearing on my blog". She asked why and I answered.
It's sometimes, always, the simple things in life that bring us the most joy. So often, we over-complicate life, we look for joy in the complex things. And yet... it's the simple things - bubbles on the wind in the park, the laugh of a child, an avenue of trees - that bring us the sweetest moments of joy. That curve our lips in the softest of smiles and bring a glow to our eyes.
She smiled her agreement "and the surprising things, the unexpected things."
I nodded and we continued on our walk, chatting easily until we reached our destination.
The moment we stepped through the door a hush descended. Not an awkward hush, not even a companionable hush, but a reverent hush.
The towering ceiling supported by carved dark wood rafters, sandstone walls that glowed in the yellow sunlight, stain glass windows with familiar scenes - the maji, the babe and other storie s from the incredible life of that one pure man who lived and died 2000 and years ago, and who continues to live today.
We sat, two young woman who love the Lord, on the pews of that cathedral, our eyes caught up by the beauty of the building and our minds and hearts wondering at, worshipping, the glory and graciousness of the God the building was built to glorify.
The silence was not suffocating, it was releasing. We sat, our own thoughts wondering, occasionally whispering to each other, sharing some thought to ponder.
How incredible is our God, we both agreed.
And even after we'd left the building, it took a few minutes for the us to stop whispering and speak in normal voices. We strolled around the city, sipping cool drinks and trying not to feel the heat. We chatted, mostly theology, sometimes life, until I boarded my train.
We hugged good-bye and I couldn't help but think how grateful I am. How thank I am for the simple and unexpected, and, at that moment, most of all, the friend who was vanishing up the steps to her own platform.
An, as I sat down and started to write, I realized writing was no longer a struggle. I wasn't feeling like I had to rack my brains in search of a thanksgiving point to write on.
God's grace had, once again, found me, through no work of my own, and had left me silenced, but brimming with joy and thanksgiving.
And the words, they almost wrote themselves.
Thank you, Father. My heart needed this little gift of yours!
Startled, I looked around, not sure whom she was talking about. Then I saw him too.
He stood on the path holding a loop of string attached to two sticks. He dipped the string in a bucket and pulled it up. Moving with ease and confidence, he stretched open the string, using the sticks. The wind caught the liquid suspended in the loop and blew it out. It formed a bubble, a translucent sheet of dancing colour.
He moved to place this broad billowing sheet over the head of a young boy who whimpered and pressed closer to the woman beside him. She and the man chuckled and the man re-dipped the string in the bucket.
Again, a billowing tunnel of colour formed in the air. He took it over to a young girl who stuck her head into it, giggling the way only a child can. Her siblings, who stood beside her, giggled too.
Then the man grasped who looked almost like a solid plastic net out of a shallow bowl and twirled it through the air.
Hundreds of paper thin spheres of colour came bursting out. Caught by the wind, they danced along merrily as a little boy laughed and chased them, hands outstretched to catch them.
Soon, we moved away, having laughed and been delighted. I murmured to my friend, feeling a deep contentment, "that'll be appearing on my blog". She asked why and I answered.
It's sometimes, always, the simple things in life that bring us the most joy. So often, we over-complicate life, we look for joy in the complex things. And yet... it's the simple things - bubbles on the wind in the park, the laugh of a child, an avenue of trees - that bring us the sweetest moments of joy. That curve our lips in the softest of smiles and bring a glow to our eyes.
She smiled her agreement "and the surprising things, the unexpected things."
I nodded and we continued on our walk, chatting easily until we reached our destination.
The moment we stepped through the door a hush descended. Not an awkward hush, not even a companionable hush, but a reverent hush.
The towering ceiling supported by carved dark wood rafters, sandstone walls that glowed in the yellow sunlight, stain glass windows with familiar scenes - the maji, the babe and other storie s from the incredible life of that one pure man who lived and died 2000 and years ago, and who continues to live today.
We sat, two young woman who love the Lord, on the pews of that cathedral, our eyes caught up by the beauty of the building and our minds and hearts wondering at, worshipping, the glory and graciousness of the God the building was built to glorify.
The silence was not suffocating, it was releasing. We sat, our own thoughts wondering, occasionally whispering to each other, sharing some thought to ponder.
How incredible is our God, we both agreed.
And even after we'd left the building, it took a few minutes for the us to stop whispering and speak in normal voices. We strolled around the city, sipping cool drinks and trying not to feel the heat. We chatted, mostly theology, sometimes life, until I boarded my train.
We hugged good-bye and I couldn't help but think how grateful I am. How thank I am for the simple and unexpected, and, at that moment, most of all, the friend who was vanishing up the steps to her own platform.
An, as I sat down and started to write, I realized writing was no longer a struggle. I wasn't feeling like I had to rack my brains in search of a thanksgiving point to write on.
God's grace had, once again, found me, through no work of my own, and had left me silenced, but brimming with joy and thanksgiving.
And the words, they almost wrote themselves.
Thank you, Father. My heart needed this little gift of yours!
Saturday, 2 November 2013
Thanksgiving #54 - A Child is Born
So, I have decided that in the lead up to Christmas, and as a nod to the fact that this is the month with Thanksgiving in the states, I would do a "Thanksgiving countdown to Christmas"!
That means that every day I will do my very best to get online and write a short post about something I am grateful for.
So, here we go with #54 (because I'm fairly certain that is the number of days left until Christmas...):
Yesterday, I received the incredibly exciting news that the new baby daughter of one of my teachers had finally arrived. Today, I received some pictures from the teacher in question.
She has that beautiful look of a new born babe. It's clear from the photos that she's soft and delicate, extremely fragile and oh, so very blessed.
As I look at the photos and read the information sent to me, I find myself filled with joy and gratitude on behalf of my teacher and his lovely wife.
There are few Gifts of Grace greater than the birth of a child. Few blessings more joyous than raising a child.
And yes, it is hard work. There will be tears and screams and broken hearts, but then, when has anything that's worth anything at all come cheaply? Come easily?
To my teacher and his wife I'd just like to say congratulations. To their oldest two daughters, enjoy! I'm the eldest of three and I remember how excited I was when my youngest sister arrived (I only hope you two didn't do what I did and run into the room before visitors were actually allowed in...). Entrust her to God, pray hard and give without condition. Love her, protect her and guide her. Although, I already know you will.
And to God I say: I give thanks, Father, that you see fit to gift this world with children, and to bless this family with another beautiful girl. I praise you for the wonder and preciousness of new life and I dedicate this child to your care. Be with her and her family, watch over them with your love and cover them with your grace. Bring them joy when times are tough and rest when their hearts are weary. Help them continue to depend on you for every step and bring glory to your name.
And I've just noticed how fitting it is that this count should start with a celebration of new birth, when it will lead to the celebration of the ultimate birth!
And so, thanksgiving #54: a precious child is born - Praise the Lord!
That means that every day I will do my very best to get online and write a short post about something I am grateful for.
So, here we go with #54 (because I'm fairly certain that is the number of days left until Christmas...):
Yesterday, I received the incredibly exciting news that the new baby daughter of one of my teachers had finally arrived. Today, I received some pictures from the teacher in question.
She has that beautiful look of a new born babe. It's clear from the photos that she's soft and delicate, extremely fragile and oh, so very blessed.
As I look at the photos and read the information sent to me, I find myself filled with joy and gratitude on behalf of my teacher and his lovely wife.
There are few Gifts of Grace greater than the birth of a child. Few blessings more joyous than raising a child.
And yes, it is hard work. There will be tears and screams and broken hearts, but then, when has anything that's worth anything at all come cheaply? Come easily?
To my teacher and his wife I'd just like to say congratulations. To their oldest two daughters, enjoy! I'm the eldest of three and I remember how excited I was when my youngest sister arrived (I only hope you two didn't do what I did and run into the room before visitors were actually allowed in...). Entrust her to God, pray hard and give without condition. Love her, protect her and guide her. Although, I already know you will.
And to God I say: I give thanks, Father, that you see fit to gift this world with children, and to bless this family with another beautiful girl. I praise you for the wonder and preciousness of new life and I dedicate this child to your care. Be with her and her family, watch over them with your love and cover them with your grace. Bring them joy when times are tough and rest when their hearts are weary. Help them continue to depend on you for every step and bring glory to your name.
And I've just noticed how fitting it is that this count should start with a celebration of new birth, when it will lead to the celebration of the ultimate birth!
And so, thanksgiving #54: a precious child is born - Praise the Lord!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)