2000 years ago, Jesus stood on the shores of a lake and looked his disciple in the eye, the disciple who had declared love and then abandoned. The rock who had crumbled before a girl.
Jesus looked this man, his friend, in the eye and asked "Do you love me?"
Behind him, another disciple heard the words and wrote them down. He wrote them down so that in the future people like me would read them and hear God whisper the same question:
"Do you love me?"
And today in church, when the preacher looks from the pulpit and asks "Do you love Him?"
My heart immediately proclaims "of course I do!"
But then my mind asks "so why don't you show it?"
And my throat feels dry, because it's one thing to claim to love, and a completely different thing to Love.
Because Love is an action, and when was the last time my actions were dedicated to demonstrating a deep Love for my Father? The Love that Jesus asks from Simon Peter.
And the answer scares me: quite a while.
When was the last time I served? Church last week, maybe. I haven't gone out of my way to serve others since then. Service hasn't been at the front of my mind.
When was the last time I spent any quality time with God? Too long, my fatiguing body tells me. An impossibly long time ago.
When was the last time I praised God? My mind draws a blank.
When was the last time I reached out to touch Him throw His Creation and His Word? I don't even remember the last time I did that.
When was the last time I gave to God, willingly, with abandon? Maybe a fortnight ago.
And my heart starts sinking as I realize that I have not been living the Love I harbor for my Father. And is love hidden and Love Real?
"Do you love Him?"
The question comes again, and I whisper "yes" because I do, my heart is His... I just haven't loved well.
How can a mere mortal such as myself Love an Immortal such as Him?
"Do you love Him?"
And Peter answers for me "Lord, You know I do."
But how... how?
"Feed my lambs," Jesus replies.
"Tend my sheep."
"Be a shepherd to my flock. Follow me. Follow my Footsteps. Follow my Plan. Follow my Love."
Because Believing in Him and His existence doesn't cut it - even the demons do that.
Loving Him in my heart brings my closer, but doesn't reach far enough - not all who love Him know Him.
Rather, my belief in Him should lead to a love of Him, and that Love should lead to an act: the act of Following Him with devotion, and loving His sheep, both the found and the still lost.
Do I Love Him?
Yes, I think I do.
Will I act that Love?
God willing, His Love will take over my Life.
No comments:
Post a Comment