We crowded into the corner of the lounge room, to men on the arms of chairs the centre of our group. They sat strumming guitars and tapping their feet as our voice rose in song. For over an hour we sang, song of worship after song of worship.
I looked around and knew that the year ahead of me was going to be a good one. And a hard one. And a journey.
That was last Wednesday.
8 days since then. And I've been tired and energized, happy and sad, proud and broken, revived and drained, excited and what-on-earth-am-I-doing, loved and lonely.
8 days. Just 8 days.
8 days of studying God.
8 days of loving people.
8 days of hard work and down right laziness.
Just 8 days. With a lifetime more to come.
And life's going to be a journey.
The broken ravioli, splashed pumpkin and burnt tomato sauce of Monday night - yeah, it's not going to change. Cause that's life - a mess.
The knock knee fear of new people - that may never change.
And I'm seeing - that doesn't matter.
My knees can knock till I'm white-haired and prune-wrinkled. My life can be broken ravioli messy.
Because here's the thing. Here's the thing I'm learning as I study God. My Bible open on my desk, my pen scratching in my journal, my voice singing soft in the morning air, new friends engaging in talk about ministry and God. Here's what I know:
It's not about my fear.
It's not about my mess.
It's about God's power.
It's about God's order.
Cause life's messy - there's no denying it.
And it's into life's mess the God reaches and whispers His promise.
His promise of peace and blessing. His promise about His truth.
That life's truth is God's glory, God's grace.
The Grace that doesn't just erase the mess - it turns it into beauty.
The Grace that doesn't ignore pain - it works through pain.
The Grace that doesn't deny need - it Gifts people to fill the need.
And Joseph's life - well, you probably don't get too much messier than that. Hated by those who should have loved him, sold into slavery, locked in a prison and forgotten. Yet through him the people of Israel were saved.
What other's intend for evil, God intends for good.
What the Devil intends for destruction, God intends for salvation.
And we are here, now, not for the future, not for the past, but for the now. For the Grace of God in the now. His Grace for us, and His Grace for others.
And this year, and for the rest of my life, I'm studying this God, studying this Grace.
Studying it, and falling in love with it. Falling in love with God. Falling in love with His people and His lost sheep.
And in 42 (or is it 43) days, I'll be standing in Ireland, drinking in the beauty of God's creation. The creeks, the green hills, the grey skies.
And in 49 days (or is it 50), I'll be home in Jordan. And there I know I'll be seeing the need. I'll be seeing the brokenness.
And in 112 days I'll be back in Fiji. Walking the shores and seeing the pain. Seeing the need.
And my prayer is God will not leave me untouched.
That I will not come home and not care.
That even now I'll be making changes.
Cause money can't satisfy. Possessions can't satisfy. Academia can't satisfy. Even relationships can't satisfy.
Only God. Only God's Grace.
Only seeing all the ways I am blessed. Only thanksgiving. Only praise.
Only worship of El-Shaddai, God Almighty, can satisfy the weary soul. Because only He can give life and grace.
Only He can redeem the slave.
Only He can find the lost.
Only He can heal the broken.
Only He can comfort the mourning.
Only He can bless the undeserving.
And this year, this year it's going to be a journey. Will you join me, here, on this journey?
Will you share, as best you can through my words, the lessons God teaches me? The pains? The joys? My life?
Will you pray for me, my friend?
Will you meet me here to listen and to reflect on my Year 13 journey?
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