I know it certainly hadn't occurred to me until about a year ago, as I read the story of Rachel Scott, who would have been 32 this month... if she hadn't been killed in the Columbine shootings all those years ago.
The book her parents had written included extracts asking that God take her life in the pursuit of his cause - I can't remember the exact phrasing and I can't check the book. And whilst the circumstances of her death, and the evidence, mean the jury is still out as to whether or not she was specifically targeted for her faith or just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (or the right place at the right time, if you use a God perspective), it certainly got me thinking.
And earlier this year, I read the story of BJ Higgins. Again, he was not a martyr in the sense of being killed for his faith, but he did die (age 15) as the result of a mysterious infection (very, very like the Black Plague - the tests were not definitive enough for diagnoses) that he contracted while on the mission field. Like Rachel, he too had pledge his entire life to God.
And the question kept ticking over in my mind: would I do God's work if I knew I would die, or had to die, for it?
And I'll be honest, my answer is yes, but I've always wondered: is that just because my life is currently not at risk? Would I ultimately value my life over my God? Or my God over my Life?
Then on Saturday, at ReachOut, the question was crystalised further.
It was when we were discussing finding our mission impossible, that the presenter asked us:
what are we willing to risk?
do we think we have the Gift of Martyrdom?
He looked at us and warned: "this is a gift you can only test once."
If you're dead, you're dead. There's no going back.
He told us he knew of only one person who had ever put up his hand and said he thought he had that gift. He challenged that if we think we have that Gift, we should be willing to take risks that could cost us our lives. Go places where we might die.
In my mind, I took that a step further: be willing to stay in a place so dangerous everyone was urging me to leave.
Would I do that? Would I be willing to go to one of the top ten countries on the Open Doors World Watch List?
Would I be able to stay there, speaking the Gospel, telling the Bible, if I knew I could be killed at any day?
Or would I turn tail and run?
Would I be willing to follow the footsteps of Noah, Joseph, Moses, Esther, Jeremiah, Daniel, Stephen, Paul and the thousands upon thousands who have risked their lives, have given their lives, in order to do God's work?
Would I be willing to say, as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did:
We do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if He doesn't, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up. ~ Daniel 3: 16 - 18Would I do that?
And as I ponder the question, I think, I think, the answer is yes.
Because I think it's a decision to take the risks. It's a decision to stand firm.
But, boy, if I am to hold onto that resolution, will I need prayer.
Because this body is frail. My heart is weak. I will need to strength of God when I face the Cup.
So I'm going to appeal to you, my dear readers, to stand with me. I do not ask you to come with me. But please, pray for me, that I will take those risks when the opportunities arise, or will look for those opportunities. And hold me accountable. Challenge me to risk all. Don't let me get comfortable with being safe.
Because I believe that God's work - reaching the unreached, bringing grace to the graceless, hope to the hopeless, and light to those in the dark - is of more value than my own life, though my heart shakes even as I type those words.
