Friends and Weddings: What I'm grateful for this week

Hello dear friend,

Come on in! I wasn't sure I'd get a chance to write this week, as my energies are running really low and today is pretty much filled with the wedding of some friends. I have, however, seized a few moments of quiet and solitude by the river and figured I may as well write a quick post.

As I said, this week has been a really low week for me. After a couple of intense (for me) days on Monday and Tuesday, I crashed on Wednesday and am still recovering. This has involved feeling suicidal, the strong urge to just have a cry, and no energy to do anything except eat and sleep.

I tell you this because a) I want to keep being honest and b) because I get the feeling that when I tell people I'm "much better" they are hearing "back to health". That is not the case. I say "much better" because the fact that I'm able to eat and shower pretty much everyday is a vast improvement on where I was. I still have a long way to go before I'm "back to health", and have been feeling increasingly isolated by people reacting as though I'm well again when I'm not. I'm doing better, but I haven't even reached my baseline in terms of health and energy.

Having said that, there are things I'm grateful for. At the beginning of the week, I had the chance to reconnect with old friends, both from my teen years and my childhood years. I have also been able to start connecting with a new friend and I am so excited by that!

I also spent a couple of hours on the beach on Thursday, which was pleasant and probably the most rested I've felt all week. I'll just finish with some photos from that time!

Thanks for sticking with me guys!

Laura Dee