I don't think I'm the only one. The only one who often thinks that grace is brilliant, but what do I need to do?
I know I'm not the only one who wants clear rules, boundaries, if you do this, you will get a pat on the head and if you're really lucky, a treat.
In a way, it reminds me of our dog.
Well, our puppy, I should say.
She's young, 6 months this coming weekend. My sister has spent the past several months training her.
The routine is familiar. One of us gets out her treats and immediately, she starts begging and being obedient, willing that treat to come to her. She knows that if she does this trick right, she'll get that delicious thing in her owner's hand. And she does it.
It's the same with me, isn't it? I want that treat that's just out of my reach, that reward I've spied up ahead.
And my immediate response? I start searching for ways to obtain it. Things I can do to get it.
It's how society works, how our children are taught. Work hard, earn more money. Sit on the toilet to do your business, you'll get a chocolate coin. Behave with integrity, get respect. Do your homework, get a sticker.
We are taught that doing gets results.
Grace turns this on it's head.
Grace says nothing you can do will get you where you want to go. But that's Ok, I'll bring where you want to go to you.
Grace is the raise that comes after a week of lazing about. Grace is the chocolate coin that comes after a week of soiled clothes. Grace is the respect given after a week of shameful conduct. Grace is the sticker that comes even though the homework hasn't been handed in.
Anyone start looking for loopholes there?
We can't comprehend it. We're immediately suspicious. "What do you want?" would be the first question on our minds - it is certainly the first on mine whenever my sisters do something nice for me!
Grace... it just seems so easy. Too easy.
Do nothing? Is that really it? But God... what can I do? I have to become worthy for You, surely. I don't deserve this... I need to earn this.
Instinctively, we seek for a way to pay back our debt - because that's what Grace does, isn't it? Leaves us massively in debt - leaves us in a position of reliance, of dependence, on someOne other than us.
Who doesn't want to be in control of their own lives?
And suddenly, the apparent easiness of Grace becomes the reason that Grace is so bloody hard... literally bloody hard... the Man who was God had to bleed in order for Grace to be available.
And there is nothing - nothing - harder than letting go of control. Than trusting that all is truly well. There is nothing harder than forgetting about doing and simply being.
Earlier today, my dad banished the dog to the backyard. She was so upset. She sat a whined at the door until my sister took pity and let her back in. Why did the dog whine? Because she wanted to be with us, her people. Why did she get progressively sadder and more desperate? Because she feared being left out in the cold. Perhaps she fears being abandoned.
But my family, for all the trouble she gives us, wouldn't part with her for anything. We've given her a home and our love, and that home and love is not dependent on the way she behaves. It was simply because we wanted to.
And that's Grace - being given a Home in Heaven and the Love of the Father that is not dependent on the way we behave, but simply because He wanted to.
And it all seems so easy - but isn't it just the hardest thing in the world?
No comments:
Post a Comment